think simple.

2010-05-12T11:02:00.000-07:00

You melted my heart, now, you froze my heart.
Each time my heart skipped a beat, you made it cooled and calm.
It wasn't the end for yesterday.
You made it stop. Completely.

I wish my heart could continue live for you, could continue beating for you.
For you, your smiles, your crap, your laughter, and your nonsense.

This time, I'm devastated. Not each time I'm the inferior, I gotta listen to you,
I gotta react to your commands.
I gotta listen to your every advice.
And not each time, you are right.

You could stand in your own shoes and understand yourself; expecting us to compromise.
Why not you yourself stand in our shoes, to experience all the shit you are giving to us?

I'm your closest, every morning when you wake up, you see me.
Every night before you sink into deep dreams, you see me.
why me whom you execute into tantrums?

I simply do not understand.
I do not understand why I could absorb your tantrums again and again,
But just a slight unwilling and short reply, you gotta make a big fuss out of it.

Please dear wen, I'm willing to give up everything just for you.
Though it might sound fairytale, it might sound mighty.
I just do it willingly from the bottom of my heart.

You won't know when I'm down at heart.
Neither will you know when I'm raining tears.

But I just want you to know how important you are,
How much I Love You.

-Deb

2010-03-24T02:35:00.000-07:00

for once in my life, I felt secured and blissful. Nothing have I done to force myself to get into a relationship. I've longed so much for my true love, for my one and only, worthed working hard to live on and despatch myself to another half, and that's low wei wen.

This man right here, he's simple. He would give in his all to the one he loves and cared nothing about his losses or anything else.

And this guy over here, I know him through one of my friend and it was sweet of him to fetch me from yishun to jurong. And when I texted to say loads of thank you, he said, he only did it for me.. Though he's one who always does all the sweet talking, but i still believe he gives his heart wholeheartedly. (:

To him, I love you.

2009-11-05T01:28:00.000-08:00

i havent seen ken&nicole for the past few days.
it wasnt a torture not able to meet ken, but in fact it was a period for me to rejuvenate my feelings for him once again.
ive thought through, that no matter how tough it's gonna be, i'll still stick to it.
i dnt wanna be someone who gives up so easily.

and yesterday, i came back to panjang and see nicole.
i tell you the most touching scene.
was that, she ran out and "call" out of my presence.
she practically misses my presence for the past few days!
she ran even faster than me and followed whereever i went.
i commanded her to come, she'll come, i told her to go, she'll go..
because she usually wasnt like that.. (:
i'm so fucking touched by her actions..

aside from nicole, lets come to talk abt ken.
he was sooo happy to see that i've come.
he couldnt stop smiling and laughing at himself.. (:
this kinda happiness is cannot be purchased by $$.
this night was my happiest night. (:

2009-10-16T03:45:00.000-07:00

recently have been catching up alot with my pri sch mates!

mahjong session, sentosa etc.
was supposed to pool someday, but have yet for all to be available!
it's kind of bored not working now, am looking forward to working life again, before i start going to school probably next year?

mann, halloween party with kenny and guys this coming sat.
frankly speaking, it's gonna be my first time celebrating it.
seriously, i didnt think of celebrating it at all!
ha. :D
though it's kind of noob, but, ya.

just brought this little girl down for a walk and poo poo.
when i proposed to bring her down, she was excited till she was gonna bark!
ha. :D
caught some pictures of her.

she's adorable right! (:
i'm going to timah later, the guys are playing billard.
and the girls are left abandoned.

2009-10-12T01:56:00.000-07:00

it was a havoc day.
SAT.
went sentosa with my primary school mates when it was pouring damn heavily at jurong.
just had the urge of taking a cab down, but i found it pointless, i'll still gotta take the monorail from vivo down. so i was like, "forget it, waste money."
in the end, i took bus, train and monorail down to sentosa, siloso beach.
gathered with my mates after so much hassle of calls and smses; couldnt even search the souls of them!
didnt want to sun-tan at all, but the sun just appeared like that, and i didnt apply sun block lotion. so there goes my skin.
played volleyball etc, and saw chen han wei with his large group of guy friends.
we didnt really cared at all cos it's a common scene at siloso beach.

had a bath after that and i had to rush back home to celebrate my dad's birthday, 10-10-09.
brought my family and ken to steamboat at bukit timah.
the food there was really fantastic.
EAT-ALL-YOU-CAN.
a great deal.

headed down to st james to celebrate tian quan's birthday.
they drank and drank and drank.
so, many of them lost their minds, whereas i didnt, because i didnt even had a single sip!
wanted to join my pri mates at powerhouse, but it was so damn pack.
"forget it."
yea, 4/5 of the group were drunk, and all of us headed back home at around 4 plus?
yea.
we were shagged out, there goes the next afternoon, spent on sleeping. (:

photos were uploaded in fb if you guys want them.
chaos.

2009-10-02T18:20:00.000-07:00

i simply dont understand ken tee chai huat.
i dont understand why we seldom have time tgt, be it having more time tgt to understand each other more, or go out to slack etc. we just cant have it.
i dnt understand why we just cant communicate and have common interests.
things you can do, i cant.
things i make mistake, you said i cant and shouldn't, but yet you can and you have all the reasons to back it up.
what i joke, c'mon, people, just laugh at me.

now i realised that life is full of regrets. really full of regrets.
past few months, past two years, there're so many opportunities for me and i gave them up.
be it "super-nice-guys" or working opportunities, i missed them.

i've been walking the wrong pathway, i realised, yet, i still chose to continue.
please tell me, whether i'm really stupid or i'm too a smart aleck to be?

i am lost, and i just want to follow the tempo of your desire.
but i just cant keep up the footsteps of your life.
i have adjusted to your life, but you have changed your pathway too fast that i cant keep them up.

i dont know if i'm too into this relationship or i'm just used to you.
but whatever it is, i do know over thousands over multiples that I LOVE YOU, TRULY, MADLY, DEEPLY.
but i really do not know what you are thinking.
i really do not you if you really loved me before, or now you're just taking me as a companion.
whenever you want me to be there, i'll be there (cos i'm always there).
because i simply cant feel any part of you being my bf.

you have always been telling people in front of them that you want to marry me la, you want to buy me gifts and stuffs just that you didnt have the finance to buy.
now, i just keep thinking that you didnt even have the heart to buy gifts at all, and you didnt intend to marry me at all in the future.
because you bloody hell dont know what you want.
you are just, the fact, taking a step at a time and see how things goes, and not planned for things.
you are waiting for things to happen.
everything "wonderful" and things which "sounded nice" are just for a show.

haha, now, i really find it a joke.
i find this relationship a joke, i find you a joke. i find us being tgt a joke.

seriously, i dont feel you being my partner at all.
yes, i felt before, but that was a short period of time of a few weeks, practically speaking was only apply to the period before you woo-ed me.
after i became your "burden", you changed totally.
actions, showing concern, loving me, things to tell me that everything was all right, changes totally.
from bad to worse, from worse to worst.

i can even have nightmare of you, you and only you.
why? and whats happening?
i'm so lack of sense of security.
i'm so lack of your concern telling me,
"with me, everything is gonna be alright."
and giving me a hug and a kiss on my forehead assuring me each word you said is true.

nothing of these happened before.
i cant even remember the happy times we were together.
now.
how are we going to walk down the aisle together?
i HIGHLY doubt so.

think about it again.
how am i going to tell myself.
"I WILL SURVIVE."

2009-09-21T16:00:00.000-07:00

i just suddenly remember the past me.
how bitchy i was to relationship.
but that wasnt just my fault.
there's was a cause and consequences.
):

but i do remember how dear and i went to cineleisure one fine night and watch movie.
after that, he cabbed me back to amk.
how sweet was he..
during the movie, how sweet was he to try to hold my hands..
memories are so sweet to remember and recall.
because they just melts my heart.

all i want now is just to earn more money and save them up for my marriage.
no matter who i marry to, i'll still hold on to the thin hope that i could have very own house, my very own car, my very own sweet caring husband. (:

hahahaha. now gonna be back to facebook and play bejewled blitz though i've been playing for hours! ((x

2009-09-21T12:00:00.000-07:00

sitting in this cold and lonely showroom,
i just want to find things to do.
had breakfast, and i'm feeling tired and unwell now.
noodles i ate was full of oil and unhealthy contents.

facing the four walls of the room, i just wanna fall aslp.
but boss is here! on a off-in-lieu holiday. ):
manager isnt here, so i was lucky that i was being nagged at for my lateness.

this coming fri! yes! it's e day of my destiny.
just wonder if it could go smoothly.
irene isnt going with me cos di ah pek said it isnt suitable for her.
told her to stay in car trade.
tmr i need to go home and get my O level's cert etc.
it's troublesome, but i dont care!
need to find it asap, cos actually, i forgot where i've placed all my certs!
hope my mom didnt take it as rubbish and threw it away.

none of my relatives know that i'm going for audition for silkair.
how am i going to explain to them my absence from singapore when i'm away?? haha. :D
i guess by the time i'll tell them.

now i cant be bothered whether i've time for everyone else but just concentrate on work and increase my savings!
cant imagine how my life's gonna be in the future.
because, i dont know if my dear will let go of this relationship between us due to lesser time tgt.
i really dont know, neither do i dare to even think! )x

but as ive said, i just wanna concentrate on saving money for house, car, and family. (:
perhaps it's a better goal??

i dont know, but i'll just try. (:

2009-09-17T13:00:00.000-07:00

my dear is really such a bully!

take a look at what he did to me.

now it's worse. blue black! ):

taken photos of nicole tee, omgz. she's darn cute!

it's in facebook!

DEARDEARDEARDEAR!!!!

GOOOO SEEE!! (:

2009-09-09T11:05:00.000-07:00

finally i was able to convince my customer to take out cash for their car.

PHEW!*

and now sitting here typing these words, i'm feeling super tired.

last night accompanied my bf watched taiwan drama though i've finished watching it.

it's super funny.

but when the time was up, i slept immediately.

now im feeling so hungry.

but i am so lazy to move and walk to canteen to get something to eat. ):

dear!

could you come and accompany me to have lunch??

haha, i know it's impossible.

because my dear is very very lazy to ride his bike over to accompany me to have just a lunch. -.-"

anyone wants mahjong tonight?

or wants to sing ktv, or wanna club tonight?

i'm ON it. (:

2009-09-07T14:16:00.000-07:00

giving up everything.

might as well be dead.

2009-09-04T14:03:00.000-07:00

today is another, had "BRunch" and reads the timing of 1.35pm.
time is crawling like a snail and i really feel like sleeping.
anytime, i can just fall aslp.
oh well.
past two days i was on-off.
and i had been spending my time outside. and last time, watched taiwan drama.
gosh, watched till 5am.
couldnt helped but just sleep while dear is still opening his eyes away with the show.
and now, i m gonna watch it in office.

so many things to do.
yet not accomplished.
sold car, but loan hasnt been apporoved.
wtf.
haywire mann.

just called dear,
he's having tea break with his friend at a coffee shop.
it's been hours leh dear! dont need to sell car ah?
like that we need to eat grass for the month. ):

yesterday had a long time outside; pasir ris.
friend's chalet blablabla.
chit-chatted with jun ru, and found that the other time she and yq quarreled, both did have wrong.
-.-"
but i just listened, cant really be bothered, cos it's just too complicated. ):

online shopping again!
i've set aside 50 bucks for it.
oh no, wonder if dear will be angry if he sees it. ):
irene tay la, lure me into the website and "keng" me to buy! -.-"

its alright..
boss is back, customer coming.
gonna log off.
AHHHH!!!

2009-09-02T14:30:00.000-07:00

DEAREST KEN TEE CHAI HUAT.
i've never known that i've loved you so deeply till i can't pull myself back from this relationship.
you made me fall so deeply into it.
though some times, our thinking are different, but i'll do my best to suit you.
simply because i do not wanna lose you.
i rather i give in, and make things simpler and easier to handle than to dig pounds of quarrel to talk about.
i just wanna love you for as long as i live, not forever, though i hope that it can be like that.

though 19 this year, i've already hoped to walk down the aisle on the red carpet with you.
and proudly recognize that, yes, you are the one, the one and only one.
these few months, though not long, we've been through quite a lot.
and we've learnt many lessons.
i do not know if you have, but yes, i have learnt.

despite being tough and rocky sometimes, but we know there's nothing in the world that's perfectly fitted for everyone.
i also wouldn't want things to be too perfect.
if not, we wont know the difference and know what's bliss, what's happiness.

and i type off these words,
i was just killing some of my boredom and used words to show that,
"I, LOO MINYI DEBORAH, PLEDGE TO LOVE KEN TEE CHAI HUAT FOR AS LONG AS SHE LIVES."

the end. (:

2009-09-02T13:15:00.000-07:00

after so long, im back to post something.
after two rainy days, the sun finally came out today.
i was able to make it to office just in time before my manager and boss.
*wipes away cold sweat*
i overslept today! oh my. supposedly wake up at 9am,LATEST, but i woke up at 936am. -.-"
it sounds pretty horrible, but oh well, i'm used to it. (:

after working for several months of few off-days per month which was only 1 off-day/ week.
finally the scheme have changed to be more humane- work 1 day, off 1 day.
pretty shiok, but this also means that i have lesser time to serve customer.

i was lucky to have my off-days same as dear.
simply because he usually doesnt bring me out, whether to chill or not.
so now, with my off-days, i hope to spend more valuable and unforgettable times with him.

sometimes, when i was alone, i've always been thinking of how to change my views of things and my character.
am i really not mature enough? or, i am mature, but i've yet to learn more things?
sigh. environment really can change a person's personality.
previously, i was someone who's really possessive and totally thinks thats my bf has to be at my side every single sec other than work.
however, i'm currently immune or rather numb to the fact that my dear always goes out and left me alone at home.

whenever i am alone, i'll seek all opportunities to make myself occupied.
like, do some laundry, watch drama series, play online game, plan my stuffs etc..
and when time's up, i'll switch off the lights and fall aslp.
yea. pretty part of me now.
previously, i'll really stay awake and wait for my partner to come home, after which, we'll end up with a quarrel to our sleep.

sigh, frankly speaking, quarreling every single day is really tiring.
even if it doesn't consume any energy, it does consume a lot of saliva!
haha.

so dear:
dont make me angry okie. dont let any chance of quarrel seize our time.
i love you lots.
dear, i've spend quite some time to do this image up my blog.
you didnt know i've got a blog right?
haha, now you know. (:

okay, other than that, i've read jun ru's post today on her blog.
i do not know how to describe my feelings after reading that post.

i really do know how she was feeling, exactly, each single lump of uneasiness; i truly understand.
i myself experienced before.
when i broke up with keith, i am hoping things could come back, but i know it's really impossible.
hence, crying is my forte.
but now, i've walked through that dark valley and picked myself up again.
now, deborah's back.
so i do not know when i can share this with jun ru, but perhaps, one day she'll learn something from it even if the broken pieces cant be back at the places they used to be..

thurs&fri are my off-days! whoo. i'm really happy. (:
dear, make me happy! and i'll make you happy! hehe.